It's The Little Things

                       L.E. Caldwell 

 …The Inane Ramblings of a Geezerly Septuagenarian

    Sometimes it’s the smallest, most insignificant infractions that cause the most angst. I have very few pet peeves, but this one is like that irritating thorn in the side and appears more often than one might imagine. Just for clarification, a pet peeve is a specific annoyance that is particularly bothersome, it’s personal, recurring and often frustrating; such as people who think because I’m older, compensate by talking too loudly, drivers traveling 20 miles per hour under the posted speed limit, or grammatical errors…Bingo, that’s the one.

Every week, like clockwork I receive a small town newspaper. I subscribe to the paper because my great-grandfather, grandfather, and uncle published the paper over a hundred years ago. I enjoy reading what my grandfather, who was the editor, was writing about in the100 years ago column.

So, I receive the paper as usual on Tuesday, and the first thing I see is the banner headline…It reads: 1st Annual Winter Carnival Brings Community Together at the 4-H Building. “What the hell,” I mumble out loud. My grandfather is probably turning in his grave. I’m guessing most people read the headline and think nothing about it…that of course would be wrong. Contrary to popular belief, 1st Annual or First Annual is a logical impossibility…it’s a misnomer.

Think for a minute…if it is indeed the first, it cannot be annual…that’s just wishful thinking on somebody’s part. I’m sure the people that planned the event are hoping it will be successful and will become an annual event, which of course can be mentioned in body of the story. I finish reading the story and discover another error involving the word annual; I decide the editor must have been absent from journalism class that day or just never received the memorandum clarifying first and annual.

To be correct, the headline could read Inaugural Winter Carnival Brings Community Together at the 4-H Building or First Ever could be substituted to replace first annual.

In fact, the AP (Associated Press) Stylebook explicitly states an event cannot be “annual” until it has been held for at least two “successive” years. In my opinion it should be taken a step further and should be “consecutive” years. After all, annual by definition implies a years’ time. In what universe would a second annual event be held five years later? Just say’n.

Comedian George Carlin mocked the term “first annual” as a linguistic contradiction, arguing that you cannot have a first annual event because annual implies a recurring tradition that has already happened at least once. His critique was part of his focus on soft language and oxymorons, where he dismantled everyday phrases for lack of logic or intent to mislead.

“As a matter of principle,” Carlin said, “I never attend a first  annual anything”…and I’m inclined to agree. That way I can stay home and not take my pet peeve with me. I’d have to keep it on a short leash anyway. No one wants to be accused of being oxymoronically challenged.